


Bring Him to His Knees

by Singofsolace



Series: CAOS Tumblr Prompts [7]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, Misogyny, One-Sided Attraction, Sexual Harassment, Slut Shaming, hexes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Singofsolace/pseuds/Singofsolace
Summary: Male!Shirley Jackson is obsessed with Zelda Spellman. Zelda has always freely explored her sexuality, but that freedom has never stretched so far as to include him. Shirley thinks she owes him something. Zelda sets him straight.In response to Jyou_no_sonoko's Magical Fic Generator! A fic of pathos (suffering was one of the words used to describe this one) starring Zelda and Reader/OC, but instead of creating an OC, I decided to do something else I've never done, and gender swap a character!
Relationships: (unrequited), Shirley Jackson/Zelda Spellman
Series: CAOS Tumblr Prompts [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545145
Comments: 12
Kudos: 33





	Bring Him to His Knees

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jyou_no_Sonoko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jyou_no_Sonoko/gifts).



> I once discussed with bella-donna-energy that the whole Shirley Jackson storyline would have read much differently if she were a man. It would avoid the trope of women being catty, superficial bitches to one another over a man, and would instead reinforce canon-compliant misogyny. If Male!Shirley is calling her a "wanton hussy" because she'll sleep with anyone but him, then, instead of it being a woman slut-shaming another woman in a culture where that word shouldn't exist, it's a man using the "sexual freedom" of the Church of Night against her. 
> 
> I think that's a much more worthwhile storyline to explore than the one the CAOS writers gave us, so I wrote it. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Content Warning: Sexual Harassment

Zelda Spellman had attended Black Mass every week since her Dark Baptism, and never had she been so _thoroughly_ distracted. The High Priest—who also happened to be her brother, Edward—was usually a very engaging speaker, and could keep her on the edge of her seat during even the most boring of recitations of scripture, but today he was failing through no fault of his own. He was in the middle of a highly intellectual sermon when Brother Jackson, who was sitting rather too close to Zelda to be deemed appropriate, placed his hand on her bare knee. It was a hot summer’s evening, and so she had foregone stockings and chosen a skirt that seemed decidedly shorter than she remembered now that she was sitting down.

Not wanting to draw too much attention, Zelda uncrossed her legs in a subtle attempt to dislodge his hand, but Brother Jackson didn’t seem to get the hint. Instead, he squeezed her knee in response, almost as if her jostling amused him, and chuckled quietly when she turned to glare.

Shirley Jackson had always been a thorn in Zelda’s side. Ever since they were children at the Academy together, he’d tormented Zelda mercilessly, always playing tricks on her and casting malicious hexes to humiliate her in front of everyone.

“He does it to get your attention,” Zelda’s mother used to say, with a knowing glint in her eye. “It means he likes you.”

But as they grew older, Zelda found herself with less and less patience for this childish form of communication. Indeed, she was far more drawn to Faustus Blackwood; she never had to guess at his true intentions, trusting entirely in their mutual attraction. By the age of seventeen, Blackwood had made it clear to the rest of the coven that she was his, and yet, it did nothing to deter Shirley.

Shirley Jackson did not take competition—or rejection—well.

Ever since Zelda had rigged the Lupercalia maypole so that she would be matched with Faustus and not Shirley, he seemed to get more and more aggressive about the fact that Zelda had never given him a chance.

Well, he was certainly taking liberties now, with his hand sliding farther and farther up her thigh, dragging her skirt up with it. Unwilling to disrupt her brother’s mass, Zelda surreptitiously grabbed the wandering hand and squeezed it as hard as she could, stopping the ascent in its tracks.

Shirley seemed amused by her aggressive action rather than rebuffed. Leaning in close, he whispered in her ear, “Come now, Zelda. We all know you’re a wanton hussy. The entire coven's had you except me, and I’ve seen Blackwood with his fingers up your skirt in this very pew. Call it a ‘gift’ for the sabbath. Rather, a Dark Devotion.”

Zelda had to keep herself from spitting at him for uttering such blasphemous words by calling his unwanted advances the Dark Lord’s will. Suddenly, she was distracted by her brother telling them all to rise and sing a dark hymn. She was grateful to have the excuse to change positions, but whatever relief she felt was squandered when she felt Shirley’s hand wander yet again, this time to the curve of her ass.

Reaching down to grab him by the wrist, she whispered harshly, “I swear to Satan I’ll break this in front of the whole coven if you don’t stop touching me.”

The song continued around them, witches and warlocks raising their voices in praise to the Dark Lord, completely oblivious to Shirley Jackson brazenly harassing the High Priest's sister.

“I always knew you were Blackwood’s ice-cold pet. Little Miss Spellman never did like an orgy when _real_ men were involved.”

“You’re not a man, Shirley, you’re a toad,” hissed Zelda. “Much like your familiar. Excuse me.”

Deciding she no longer cared about disrupting the mass, Zelda left the pew mid-song and stormed out of the Church, ignoring all of the eyes that followed her. She’d just have to make it up to her brother and the Dark Lord later.

* * *

It was strange to be teaching at the Academy again, sixteen long years after her brother’s death. While Constance had been a decent Directrix, sure enough, she was far less knowledgeable about Ancient Tongues and Sacred Scripture.

It was hard to miss the scowl that Brother Jackson sent her way upon Faustus’ introduction. Surely, he wasn’t still such a petty, jealous man…?

* * *

Zelda was on her way to Faustus’ office when she collided with Shirley Jackson as he rounded a sharp corner. It took a moment longer than she would like to recover, as Shirley had immediately grabbed her by the hips under the pretense of steadying her.

“Brother Jackson!” Zelda said, trying to keep her tone even, despite Shirley’s lingering touch.

“Looking for the High Priest, Sister Zelda?” said Shirley with a greasy smile.

“As it happens, I am,” said Zelda, attempting to pass Shirley, but stopping short when Shirley blocked her path.

“Don’t you usually meet the High Priest in the confessional?” said Shirley, leaning forward so that his lips brushed the shell of her ear. “On your _knees_?”

“Don’t _you_?”

Zelda knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment the words left her mouth.

With a sound somewhere between a growl and a grunt, Shirley latched onto Zelda’s arms and shoved her hard into the wall. Her back hit the stone with enough force to steal the air from her lungs.

“I could’ve been High Priest if this Church weren’t so full of little sluts like you, who show their support by opening their legs,” said Shirley, kicking her legs apart as if to make a point. “If you’d ever shown _me_ the proper gratitude for all that I’ve done for this coven, I could have made a bid for High Priest at the same time as Faustus. Your support _meant_ something back then. It doesn’t now. But I’d still like some ‘support’.”

Zelda struggled, trying to wrench her body away as hexes ran through her mind. She ought to put a blood curse on him, if only she could move her hands—

“Sister Spellman?” came an uncertain voice. “Brother… Jackson?”

Prudence Night had turned the corner, her eyes wide as she took in their compromising position.

Zelda took advantage of Shirley’s distraction to knee him in the groin. While he fell to the ground, she cast a slow-acting leech hex beneath her breath that would slowly drain the blood from his body over time.

“Prudence!” said Zelda with a forced smile, pushing herself off of the wall and smoothing her skirt down.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” said Prudence, not meeting Zelda’s eyes. “I was just on my way to… Sacred Geometry.”

From the ground at their feet between them, Shirley Jackson groaned, as this was his subject.

“I think it’s safe to say that Sacred Geometry will be cancelled, Prudence,” said Zelda, flipping a lock of hair over her shoulder and sneering down at Shirley, who was still clutching his family jewels. “Brother Jackson here needs to spend some time on his knees… in conference with the Dark Lord.”

With that, Zelda turned the corner with her head held high, leaving a baffled Prudence and a thoroughly humiliated Shirley Jackson far behind.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: While it seems a bit silly to credit Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa as the owner of these characters, considering he himself stole/borrowed/recreated them, let's give it a go.
> 
> I do not own these characters. They belong to Archie Comics, which sent Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa himself a cease and desist for his blatant fanfic-turned-play, "Archie's Weird Fantasy," not too long ago. Please do not sue me; I am an unemployed adjunct professor writing fanfiction purely for entertainment purposes. I have very little money, but a whole lot of love for complicated female characters. While I do not wish to be sued, I would very much enjoy being given a position as show-runner for writing some great fanfic. I eagerly await your email.


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